Deepen the Kiss
"Promise me you'll love me after this?" Those were the words I asked my first love on a high school date.
"Always, Vi," he told me before crushing his lips against mine.
I gave him a part of me I can never get back that night. Even worse, I gave him my heart.
That was four years ago. Back when I was young and naive. Back when I thought we’d always be together.
He dumped me right after graduation and left me to join the military. He said I shouldn’t wait for him; it didn’t matter that I wanted to. I would have waited for him forever, but he threw me away and left me here in this small town.
Now he’s home and says he wants me back. Second chances don’t work in love. No matter how much I wish I could erase what’s happened since he’s been gone... no matter how much I think of falling back into his arms…
We were never meant to be together.
He’s a bartender with noncommittal tendencies.
I’m looking for … the opposite. Commitment. Period.
But drinks and a bet led to something it shouldn’t have: a fake relationship. Worse, a first date, a first kiss… and then more.
He’s addictive and I can’t bring myself to accept the reality.
That it’s all a lie and I’m fooling myself by thinking he could want more. That I could change him.
He’s mine for as long as I keep on pretending like this is just for fun.
As if I don’t want more…
Like when he whispers my name, I pretend it doesn’t make my heart flip.
Like when he holds me at night, I pretend I don’t want to lay in his bed every night.
It's just a bet; just a lie... until it isn't.
He made me a promise.
And then he broke it.
That’s what happens with your first love.
I didn’t expect for Derek to fall back into my life and for me to fall back into his bed.
Time changes a lot of things, but it doesn’t change everything.
It doesn’t change the way he makes my heart skip or the way my lungs stop when he stares deep into my eyes.
It didn’t change his bad boy ways either and I should be smart enough to tell him no this time around.
I should be, I know what it’s like to be burned by him.
But it’s so hard to walk away when his touch begs me to stay and the pain in his eyes cuts me deeper than anything else in this world.
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