Bitterroot Series by Sibylla Matilde

I know I’m twisted. Growing up in a perfectly well-adjusted home, I don’t really have an excuse. But no matter… I realize how messed up I am. And therapy can only do so much. I pushed my boyfriend to violence, a violence he couldn't control. Sickly, I almost liked it. So I pushed him more. Before long, the pain outweighed the pleasure and the loss I sustained shattered me. So I ran. I’m now a bit shell-shocked harboring a lot of guilt. My boyfriend is now my ex and wants revenge... moreI know I’m twisted. Growing up in a perfectly well-adjusted home, I don’t really have an excuse. But no matter… I realize how messed up I am. And therapy can only do so much. I pushed my boyfriend to violence, a violence he couldn't control. Sickly, I almost liked it. So I pushed him more. Before long, the pain outweighed the pleasure and the loss I sustained shattered me. So I ran. I’m now a bit shell-shocked harboring a lot of guilt. My boyfriend is now my ex and wants revenge. He wants me to pay for turning him into the monster he’s become. And I still have a deviant yearning that I don’t understand. My own monster inside… my own demon to battle. I can’t get close to anyone. I can’t give in and scratch that itch. I can’t wreck someone else. And now there is Kian… my rescuer on a dark, painful night. He sees through my pretense. He tries to pull me from my frightened isolation, to keep me from becoming a victim. He forces me to face my warped desires and shows me that pain doesn’t really have to truly hurt. He wants to show me a way to serenity. But I am afraid… Will I ruin a good man? ***** Mature Content, Abuse, Sexual Situations, Adult Situations, Strong Language ***** less

***** Mature Content, Sexual Situations, Adult Situations, Strong Language ***** To him, I was only just Sage, Matt Nichols’ little sister. But I've worshiped Conall my whole life. My brother's best friend. My secret crush. My first and only love. Always hoping he’d really see... me. And then, a torrent of circumstances ripped through my life. One by one, my family began to crumble. My dad's heart attack. My brother's tragic death. My mother's slipping sanity. And then Conall's abandonment... more***** Mature Content, Sexual Situations, Adult Situations, Strong Language ***** To him, I was only just Sage, Matt Nichols’ little sister. But I've worshiped Conall my whole life. My brother's best friend. My secret crush. My first and only love. Always hoping he’d really see... me. And then, a torrent of circumstances ripped through my life. One by one, my family began to crumble. My dad's heart attack. My brother's tragic death. My mother's slipping sanity. And then Conall's abandonment. He took my heart when he left, but he gave me a reason to grow up fast, to be strong, and to live. Now, just when things finally start looking up, he's back in Bitterroot. Standing before me, not the boy he once was, but a man. Just when I’m on the cusp of living again. Just when I’m starting to feel like I could let go of the past and be happy without him, the feelings I set aside for all those years are raging once again through my veins. My tight control is slipping. The future I've so carefully mapped out now seems so uncertain. He’s changed, but he hasn’t. I hate him for leaving, but I love him for coming home. But will he stay? And do I really, truly want him to after he shattered me before? less