Mixed Drinks Series by Rae Matthews

When it comes to relationships, I have really bad luck. Each time I meet a guy, I cross my fingers and hope he is at least halfway normal. I’m so tired of dealing with crybabies and freak shows that I could just scream. At this point, I’m so close to just joining a convent, taking the vow of chastity, and calling it quits with men entirely. Well, I probably don’t need to go to that extreme... I mean who am I kidding? There's no way I could be a nun... moreWhen it comes to relationships, I have really bad luck. Each time I meet a guy, I cross my fingers and hope he is at least halfway normal. I’m so tired of dealing with crybabies and freak shows that I could just scream. At this point, I’m so close to just joining a convent, taking the vow of chastity, and calling it quits with men entirely. Well, I probably don’t need to go to that extreme... I mean who am I kidding? There's no way I could be a nun. But becoming an old crotchety lady with 20 cats lurking around? Now THAT is a definite possibility. That is until I see him, my brown-eyed stallion man, swooping in to save me from an unforeseen wrinkly old balls attack, and then... he is gone. Well, not gone completely, because I can’t stop fantasizing about him. I fantasize about him so much that when I finally do see him again, I make a complete and total ass of myself. Several times in fact. How I do not drop dead of embarrassment right then and there is beyond me. So, remember I said I have really bad luck? Well, sit back, grab a glass of wine or your favorite mixed drink, and let me tell you how it all started, and how it all ends... ~ Renaming my past boyfriends has always been a favorite pastime of ours. Why not give them a more fitting name, because who really needs to remember the guy’s real name? You want a name to remind you why it didn’t work, so at three in the morning on a drunken, horny night you don’t call him. Thinking you made a mistake. In this case, The Huffer left no room for regret. ~ "So are we going to talk about the fact that your jeans have ripped apart like a hooker's legs on a Friday night?" he asks and starts laughing ~ "I could go for a Sinful 7, but only if you will share it with me." I say as I look up from the menu to Bash "I think I could be sinful with you" he responds seductively. Bash gives me a look that I haven't seen yet. I think it is a lets go back to your apartment and get sinful look. I look back at the bartender and say "One Sinful 7 please. Togo!" less

Having your cake and eating it too is something everyone on the planet wants in life. For some, it is the happy family with two monsters for kids that no matter what happens, they can do no wrong, some it is fame on the big screen, being stalked by paparazzi and others, it is to travel the world seeing all that mother nature has to offer. Gag me with an overstuffed pillow... moreHaving your cake and eating it too is something everyone on the planet wants in life. For some, it is the happy family with two monsters for kids that no matter what happens, they can do no wrong, some it is fame on the big screen, being stalked by paparazzi and others, it is to travel the world seeing all that mother nature has to offer. Gag me with an overstuffed pillow. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted it all, but my vision of happiness is the dream job, the dream car, the awesome apartment and a plate of bacon all to myself. The only thing I didn’t want was a man. In my experience, men only cloud your judgment and replace your dreams with theirs. Things were going according to plan until fate, karma, destiny, fortune or whatever you want to call it stepped in and said “Oh wait, no, I don’t think so.” and took it all from me. For now I’m stuck mooching off my best friend and working desperately trying to figure out a way to get it all back. That is until fate slaps a Jesse in my face. But let me start from the beginning. So grab a plate of Bacon or your favorite snack and let me tell you all about it. less